Running
by tvjunkie10
Summary: Santana's always been a runner so when Brittany admitted her feelings she ran and this is a story of the efforts to win Brittany back. Post Duets
1. Chapter 1

A/N this is my first attempt at a Brittana fic, the idea just struck me and I quickly wrote it down so I apologize for any mistakes. Just a warning this story is going to include flashbacks that will be italicized.

Sometimes you have moments in your life when you are sitting in your car listening to Death Cab for Cutie as you cry your eyes out. Sometimes in the moments you choose to reflect on the past moments that led to your present state of being a complete wreck. Sometimes it is the smallest things, trivial moments or careless words that have the greatest impacts on our lives. I realized that when I was 11 years old.

_It was the last few days of 6__th__ grade when the stupid weather of the Midwest finally warmed up enough to wear sleeveless shirts. I was so excited because it meant I could wear the top my Nana had sent me from Puerto Rico. It was full of the spicy colors that reminded me of my equally as spicy Nana and my few trips to the most exotic place imaginable growing up in Lima. I got up an extra half hour that day so that I could make sure my hair was as frizz-free as I could make it and to put on the new lip-gloss I had begged my Daddy to buy. I had an extra bounce in my step as I raced down the stairs and grabbed my lunch from my Mom. I walked into school that day full of the confidence my Mom always seemed to have when she was Salsa dancing with my father. I walked straight into first period social studies expecting a ton of compliments; instead I got the exact opposite. _

"_Santana, the Dora the Explora look was so three years ago when we were little," said Kurt. All of the girls and some of the boys started giggling at me. The shirt that made me feel like the queen on the world didn't seem too popular in this boring town. I continued receiving snide remarks the whole day and it was starting to make me want to punch someone. It wasn't like I was the most popular kid at school, but I sure did not appreciate being treated like a loser like that annoying Berry girl. I kept my head down the rest of the day and kept praying for the end of the day to come faster. Luckily, I had last period with my best friend Quinn and she was always coming up with ways to make us cooler and she had already raised her popularity by kissing Finn in spin the bottle. _

"_Seriously, S, why did you wear that?" asked a young Quinn._

"_I liked it." I simply replied as I shrugged my shoulders. _

"_But we are in middle school now, it's not about what you like but what makes you cool." _

_From that moment I made a pact with myself to do whatever I have to in order to make myself cool. I never wanted to me teased or laughed at. I wanted to walk down the hall and have everyone look at me with the fear in their eyes that Puck, or Noah back then, had every time I caught him starring at my butt. _

_I spent that entire summer with Quinn reading any magazine we could, practicing how to do our hair and our make-up, buying whatever clothes all the models wore. I pleaded with my Mom to buy my first bikini. I started going to parties and playing spin the bottle. I had my first kiss that summer as well as 3 more kisses. I started watching what I ate to lose the 5 pounds I thought I had to lose. I even went to cheerleader camp instead of running with my track team because Quinn thought that would make us cooler. I kept running on my own though as it was the only thing that would clear my head every time I got sick of who I was becoming and after I ran enough to make my legs ache I would calm down enough to continue on my quest for popularity._

_All of our efforts paid off though because as soon as Quinn and I stepped into school for the first day of 7__th__ grade it became apparent that we were now the most popular girls in our grade and maybe even the whole school, although it did help that Mary Johnson had moved away. For months no one dared laugh at anything I wore and some of the girls and even Kurt started dressing like me. For those few months the popularity was enough to forget every part of me that I had given up. That all ended when a new girl transferred to my school. She was wearing the most ridiculously dorky shirt with a big duck on it and I forced myself to roll my eyes and suppress the smile that wanted to come to my lips (I always did like ducks). I heard the teacher tell the new kid to pick a seat and I quickly noted the chair empty at the front of the class and empty one right next to me. All of the other kids must have noticed this too as they all held their breath to see where she would sit. _

_The blonde walked right next to me and sat down, quickly turning to me with the biggest smile on her face and introduced herself, "Your shirt is really pretty, I'm Brittany!"_

"_Hi Brittany, I'm Santana," I replied with the smallest amount of cheer that I knew would be acceptable. _

_Quinn was in the desk on the other side of me and quickly whispered, "You can't be serious, S, look what she is wearing!" _

_I didn't know this new girl at all and yet there was something about her over the top cheerfulness that made me want to forget Quinn and our stupid need for approval. Both Quinn and Brittany scared me into silence for the rest of the class because I didn't know what I should do, so after class I did the only certain thing left in my life, running, and I ran more than I had ever ran and by the time I collapsed on top of the slide in our neighborhood park I came up with the best plan of my life. I realized all I had to do was make Brittany cool enough so that she could hang out with me and Quinn so that way I could have my popularity and my Brittany too. And my plan worked and from that moment on it was the three of us ruling the school. _

Now I sit in my car crying like an idiot wondering what my life would have been like if Brittany hadn't transferred 5 years ago, if she hadn't made me remember who I use to be, is she hadn't made me want to give up the reputation and status I had worked so hard to create, if she hadn't terrified me with her overwhelming sense of self, if she hadn't acknowledged feelings before I was comfortable enough to admit them. So I realized I had to do the only thing I knew how to do when I was scared, run. Screw the rain that was pouring and was sure to ruin my new cheer shoes, I was going to run until I came up with a plan to fix the mess that my life had become, a plan to get Brittany back.

A/N well thanks for actually sticking around and reading to the end of the chapter, please let me know if you enjoyed it or not so I know if I should bother continuing with it.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I didn't update as quickly as I had originally planned but unfortunately my semester just started and I have been busy trying to get back into the swing of things. My plan for this story is to jump between flashbacks from any age and the present, my apologies for any errors, I had class way too early this morning so I did not feel like doing much editing. **

For the first five minutes of my run, my mind was completely blank, focusing on my wet footsteps as water splashed on my legs. But then I jogged past the front of the middle school where I first saw Brittany dancing.

_ I had been given after school detention by my math teacher, apparently Mr. Romero doesn't like my witty (and somewhat sarcastic) sense of humor. After having to spend 45 minutes with a couple of the burn outs and stupid jocks that loved making lewd remarks at me, I practically ran out of our school as soon as our teacher dismissed us. I was almost out the door when I spotted Brittany dancing around in the grass. At this point I had known Brittany for a few weeks and I knew she danced but I had never had the pleasure of actually witnessing her move before. I was stopped dead in my tracks. She had her portable cassette player playing on her ears so she didn't hear me walk outside. Her moves were contained and small seeing as she was out in public but yet it was still one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. It wasn't like the kind of dancing I was used to from videos and school dances, it was contemporary and I quickly realized this was my favorite type of dance. I took a few moments marveling at the effortless ease at which her body moved, completely entranced by her delicate moves. I knew Brittany was as care free as some of my uncles but the way in which she just danced so carefree just outside our school made me both jealous and fascinated. Brittany finally made a turn in which she spotted me and abruptly stopped, not out of embarrassment, but to give me a huge smile and wave. _

_ "Hey Santana!" _

_ "Hey Brittany! You are a really great dancer." I noticed a small blush on her cheeks._

_ "Thanks, I was bored sitting around and I really love this song," she said cheerfully. _

_ "What are you still doing here? I didn't see you in detention."_

_ "Oh…my mom said she was probably going to be late picking me up, she had to take Becca to the doctor," I had met Brittany's little sister about a week back and knew she had hearing issues. _

_ "Is everything alright?" a question I had almost forgotten how to ask in the past months._

_ "Oh yeah, just one of her ear check-ups."_

_ "Oh," I noticed my mom pulling up "well my ride is here, did you want a ride home?"_

_ "Nope, we always get strawberry ice cream after Becca's appointments…or after anything sad actually…my mom says strawberry ice cream makes everything better." I couldn't help but smile at that, Brittany's family was just too adorable. I started walking towards my mom when I had a thought._

_ "You know, you should try out for cheerleading, I am sure you would make it with your dancing and then you can hang out with me and Q more."_

_ "That sounds like a lot of fun but Quinn told me not too."_

_ "What! Why?" Furious over the amount of work I had put into trying to get Quinn to like Brittany, I thought I had succeeded. "I thought Q likes you." _

_ Brittany giggles "Of course she does, she said she was looking out for me, didn't want it to taint me, whatever that means, but oh well, maybe I will anyways, bye San!"_

_ I walked into my mom's car confused over my feelings. I had this weird feeling in my stomach from Brittany calling me San, a nickname I had never gotten before. But I had this other weird feeling over Quinn trying to spare Brittany, maybe she wasn't taking all of the changes as well as I had thought, maybe Quinn felt as crappy as I did. Luckily my mom started telling a story about something my stupid older brother did to distract me. _

I ran even faster, as if I could just push the Brittany memories away so I could focus on her plan but I happened to run past the smoothie shop that Brit and I frequented.

_I had known Brittany for a year now, spent countless hours with her and yet she still could say or do something that made me realize what a mystery this girl was and how I just so desperately wanted to figure her out, like I had done so easily with every other person in my life. _

_ We were currently sharing a strawberry-banana smoothie while engaging in an intense discussion about NSYNC vs Backstreet Boys, a discussion I would never let Quinn catch me in, but luckily she had ditched our table to go sit with Finn, who so obviously had a crush on her. A took a moment to stop listening to Brittany discuss the hotness of Justin Timberlake to look at Quinn. I watched as Finn said something that I knew was probably stupid but I saw Quinn laugh and touch his arm. To anyone else this would have seemed like flirting and a genuine interest in Finn, but I knew she was just playing the game. Ever since Brittany told me about Quinn trying to protect her from cheerleading, I started to notice more and more cracks in Quinn's facade. I think she started noticing mine, especially when I was around Brittany, but I knew neither she nor I would ever say anything about it, when confronted with those feelings of regret we would both crack and we just couldn't have that. I quickly turned back to Brittany to stop focusing on Quinn as it made my head hurt and luckily Brittany never noticed that I had stopped paying attention. I was just about to comment on JT's dance moves when Noah, or Puck as he went by now, came over to our table. _

"_Hey hot stuff, wanna come over to my house and make out?" he asked me and I rolled my eyes._

"_Leave me alone Puckerman."_

"_Oh come on baby, you weren't turning me down the other day, are you trying to play hard to get?"_

"_Just stop."_

"_But sexy…"_

"_She SAID stop," interrupted Brittany with a tone I had never heard before and it must have caught Puck off guard as well because he just left with a fleeting 'whatever'. "Come on, lets get out of here." But when Brittany realized I too stunned to move she held out her pinky and said "Come on, give me your pinky and lets go."_

"_My pinky?"_

_ "Yeah, its like a pinky promise but even better," she replied still sticking her pinky out, so I gave in, which I seemed to be doing more and more with her, and gave her my pinky. We walked out of that shop pinky-in-pinky and suddenly Puck's pestering didn't seem to bother me anymore. _

At this point in my run I had given up on trying to focus and instead just let the memories come as I started breathing a little bit harder. Now I was in front of a house, which once had one of the most significant parties of my life.

_It's freshman year and all three of us had made the cheerios and we were the only freshman to do so. To say we were popular was an understatement, none of the power we held in middle school ever compared to what we had now, so it wasn't a surprise when we were invited to some upper classman's house for a party. Brit, Q, and I had spent hours getting ready together but as soon as we walked into the door we all went our separate ways to set our priorities straight. I went straight to the kitchen to take a few shots to make it a bit easier to pretend I was enjoying myself in this crowded and gross house when really I just wanted to be having a Disney movie night with Brittany at my house, but of course that just wouldn't be cool. Quinn set off to go find Finn who was now on the football team so Quinn could acceptably date him. Brittany went straight to the dance floor, which wasn't surprising, Brittany was dance.  
_

_ I was about to take my third shot when some stupid junior boy started talking to me, no doubt having heard of reputation as someone who has played my fair share of spin the bottle. I tried to look as interested as I could until he started saying super gross things at which point I was praying for some out. Lucky for me someone had noticed how uncomfortable I had gotten and came to save me, it just wasn't Brittany like I had hoped, it was Puck, but he would do._

"_Beat it dude, clearly I tackled you a bit to hard in practice today and messed up your head because there is no way you would be talking to my girl without a concussion." Puck said as he tried to look as intimidating as his freshman self could look as he slipped his arm over my shoulder. The boy took the hint and as soon as he had vanished I slipped out from under Puck's arm._

"_I am not your girl," I said rolling my eyes._

"_You say that now but that won't last long, the Puckster is hard to resist."_

"_Whatever."_

"_Look this party is lame and they are out of beer so I am going home. When you realize these guys are nothing and you want a real man, I'll be home playing video games for a while, feel free to call me."_

_I watched Puck walk out before I slammed another two shots down and went in search for Brittany. Surprisingly I didn't find her dancing but instead saw her leaning on a wall talking to one of the senior football players. I was debating whether or not to go interrupt when I saw the perv start kissing Brittany. Maybe it was rage or maybe it was the alcohol but something gave me the strength to rip the dumb-ass off of Brittany._

"_Leave her alone, creep!"_

"_What the hell is your problem?" the dip-shit had the nerve to ask._

"_My problem is 18 year olds trying to perv on a 15 year old!"_

"_Whatever, she isn't worth the hassle anyways." And I inwardly cheered in victory as he walked away but then I noticed everyone starring at me and Brittany looking at me with a weird look on her face until she started pulling me outside._

"_What was that Santana?" I cringed as she used my full name_

"_Well why were you kissing that douche?"_

"_He's cute and he's a senior."_

"_Exactly, he's old so that's creepy."_

"_So its okay for you to make out with a bunch of juniors but I can't kiss one senior? That's ridiculous San," and I was just pleased with the softening in her tone. I didn't know how to respond to her, she was absolutely right, I had no idea to act like that. It was like I was some crazy, jealous girlfriend and that thought terrified me. So I just took a deep breath and calmed down._

"_Look lets just go, I'll walk you home." I thought for a moment she was going to go back inside but she just sighed and started walking home so I quickly caught up with her. I noticed she wasn't holding my pinky on the way home and that was okay because I don't think I could handle that contact right now. We walked in silence as I tried to sort through my feelings. It wasn't a long walk to her house but I had enough time to realize that I was jealous and I knew exactly why. Before I could panic over the realization of my feelings we had arrived at Brittany's house and I prayed she wouldn't invite me in. My prayers were answered as Brittany just looked at me for the first time since we had left. _

"_Sometime I just don't understand you San," Brittany whispered and with that Brittany turned and went inside. As soon as I heard the door close, I whispered to myself, 'neither do I'. It didn't surprise me when I started running, it was second nature _

_to start running when I started thinking about feelings, I was just surprised where my feet took me, Puck's front door. _

_ I thought about turning around and going back home, but that meant more time thinking about Brittany and the fact that I might have a crush on her, and that just wouldn't be okay, that would ruin everything. I could try and fix things, stop being so fake just to be popular, stop pretending that Quinn and I were actually happy, stop pretending I hadn't fallen for the most amazing girl in the world. I could but I couldn't, I was a coward, something my Nana would be ashamed to hear me admitting, but that's what I was so I did the cowardly thing and knocked on Puck's door. I almost started praying he wouldn't answer, but of course he did, he answered with a smug smile and let me in. That was the night I lost my virginity. I didn't think I could be anymore mortified with myself watching a sweaty Puck above me so I closed my eyes and tried to will away the thoughts but then he touched my cheek so softly and I almost whispered out her name. I don't think I ever hated myself more than at that moment. _

I almost laughed at myself because I realized there was exactly one more time where I hated myself more, and that was when I broke Brittany's heart. My legs felt like they were about to give out me as I started looking around to see just how much I had run. I spotted my favorite slide in my favorite park up above and knew that would be the end of the longest run I had ever had because I knew that was where I always hid from the world at. It was the last few steps where I started to understand just how hard it is to run in the pouring rain as it adds at least 15 pounds but I just climbed up the slide and laid down as I started to catch my breath and hoped I could finally come up with my plan.

**A/N: Wow. This chapter turned out to me about three times as long as I had originally planned but oh well, I hoped you enjoyed!**


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